


Listen

by poopiehead



Category: X1 (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, M/M, Song recs, jinhyuk sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-16
Updated: 2019-09-16
Packaged: 2020-10-20 01:39:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,168
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20667191
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/poopiehead/pseuds/poopiehead
Summary: Maybe Wooseok's song suggestion during Seungyoun and Hangyul's VLive is more than a song rec. Maybe it's a message to a boy thousands of miles away.





	Listen

**Author's Note:**

> So. Someone tweeted the lyrics of the song Wooseok suggested. I got inspired. Also apparently this song gives Wooseok strength and he listened to it a lot during his hiatus so. I'm not crying, you are.
> 
> also! please comment omg:0 if u hate it, if u like it, i don't mind, i love comments!

Jinhyuk lets a sigh escape from his lips. The flight from Thailand was smooth with no problems whatsoever, but he still feels like a walking corpse. The fanmeet was almost perfect. He still gets choked up thinking about the animation they made for him. To have his hardship and story acknowledged? And even in his favorite form of media? Jinhyuk's heart feels full. But, it also feels heavy at the same time.

He barely even remembers imitating Dohyon. He was caught in the moment, having fun with Peak, adrenaline rushing through his veins. He just wanted to share how cute Dohyon was, but of course he should've had thought first, before doing anything.

Seeing the hashtag trending right after the fanmeet was over made his heart drop. Even in just making a joke, he can't get it right. Maybe he deserve's this, Jinhyuk thought to himself. His life is being too blessed right now. Something's always bound to go wrong with him. It always does.

After calling Dohyon and apologizing profusely, he goes on Instagram to apologize there as well. He has to apologize for making fans worry. Although he didn't have bad intentions, he knows that people can't help feeling what they did and he feels sorrowful for causing a mess when this was supposed to be a happy day.

Why is he like this? Lee Jinhyuk, beloved by all trainees, just made fun of one of the show's youngest. Lee Jinhyuk, makes a mistake. Lee Jinhyuk, not enough, never enough, always doing something wrong. He feels numb. He always tries to show his mature side, when necessary. Keep the self hatred to a minimum, never show what's inside, don't make people worry. Maybe it's why he's always like this when he's alone. In the quiet of the night, where his feelings are hidden by the late hour and the silence of everything surrounding him.

He feels lonely. From having 9 people with him all the time to having 1 to having all his friends from produce and now he has no one. This path might lead him to a brighter future but what a lonely future indeed. Funnily enough, he feels like Anna, at the start of frozen. The thought startles a chuckle from his lips but it leaves as quick as it came.

He goes on twitter to check on his friends. They seem active, they seem happy. He remembers last night, a bunch of them messaging him after the hashtag came out, asking him if he was okay. Of course, he said that he was. He should be. He should always show that he's strong. He looks at the message Wooseok sent him last night. "Don't listen to them", he wrote. Jinhyuk sent a thank you in return but he knows Wooseok can see right through his facade.

He was about to rest and put down his phone when he suddenly hears a beep and sees that Wooseok messaged him. "Don't listen to them, listen to me instead." and that was all he wrote. "Yeah I will" Jinhyuk sends but then frowns in confusion at Wooseok's reply. "Listen to me. Check twitter." and Jinhyuk almost sends a question mark but decides to go to twitter first.

Apparently Seungyoun and Hangyul had a VLive where they played songs. Jinhyuk is happy that his friends are there but he still doesn't understand what's happening until he scrolls some more and finds out Wooseok joined them as well. Reading dozens of fans tweeting about how Wooseok can't stand not joining Seungyoun in the VLive makes Jinhyuk's chest feel tight in some sort of way but he really doesn't want to think about it right now. What is Wooseok trying to do? Make him jealous? Jinhyuk thinks but immediately cancels the thought. Why would Wooseok want him to be jealous? What's there to be jealous of? Jinhyuk laughs but without humor.

He's about to give up until he sees that Wooseok recommended a song. Huh. That must be it. He starts up the song while reading that this is the song Wooseok listened to that gives him strength. Jinhyuk gulps, maybe this is a coincidence? The song starts to play and Jinhyuk closes his eyes and listens.

//

  
_Do you feel the same when I'm away from you?_  
_Do you know the line that I'd walk for you?_  
_We could turn around, or we could give it up_  
_But we'll take what comes, take what comes_  
_Oh, the storm is raging against us now_  
_If you're afraid of falling, then don't look down_  
_But we took the step, and we took the leap_  
_And we'll take what comes, take what comes_

_Feel the wind in your hair_  
_Feel the rush way up here_

_We're walking the wire, love_  
_We're walking the wire, love_  
_We're gonna be higher, up_  
_We're walking the wire, wire, wire_

_There's nights we had that just walk away_  
_And there's tears we'll cry, but those tears will fade_  
_It's the price we pay when it comes to love_  
_And we'll take what comes, take what comes_

  
//

Jinhyuk feels wetness on his shirt and realizes its coming from him. His heart is heavy but now with a completely different reason. The song's melody makes the feeling in his chest rise up until he's choking on it, he's surrounded by it.

Flashes of hands holding on to his, of arms winding around him, of a teary smile, a pointed finger, these images flash through his mind. The person who has been able to see how weak he is, how the self hatred turns its ugly tail, the person who has convinces him that his demons have no power, the person who gives him strength, the person who's not here. Wooseok has this special power of making him lose all his armor. He got the access to Jinhyuk's heart and Jinhyuk's always afraid he'll break it but the opposite is true.

Even far away, Kim Wooseok never fails to make him strong.

While wiping his eyes, Jinhyuk gets his phone and sends Wooseok his own song recommendation. After his message sends, the puts Wooseok's song on repeat. He closes his eyes and lets himself open up to feeling. Letting them be heard and washed away into the abyss of the universe.

//

  
_When you feel my heat_  
_Look into my eyes_  
_It's where my demons hide_  
_It's where my demons hide_  
_Don't get too close_  
_It's dark inside_  
_It's where my demons hide_  
_It's where my demons hide_

_They say it's what you make_  
_I say it's up to fate_  
_It's woven in my soul_  
_I need to let you go_

_Your eyes, they shine so bright_  
_I want to save their light_  
_I can't escape this now_  
_Unless you show me how_

_When you feel my heat_  
_Look into my eyes_  
_It's where my demons hide_  
_It's where my demons hide_  
_Don't get too close_  
_It's dark inside_  
_It's where my demons hide_  
_It's where my demons hide_


End file.
